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Help finding Mr. Right Vet


Universal Press Syndicate

Q: What would be the best place to meet veterinarians? I'm not kidding: I want to marry a vet. I'm 32, with a great job and my own house. I broke up with my last boyfriend in part over my two cats (not the biggest issue, but we fought over them). Between guys who hate cats and the cost of veterinary care, it seems marrying a veterinarian is the right idea. In any case, the cats are staying! -- K.R., via e-mail

A: I see a couple of problems with your plan. First, I assume you're looking for another boyfriend. Since women have been in the majority at veterinary schools and colleges for some time now, finding a male veterinarian presents an increasingly difficult challenge.

Second, there's the competency issue. Half of all veterinarians theoretically graduated in the bottom 50 percent of their class. What if you're looking for a superbly competent veterinarian, but you happen to fall in love with one who suits your needs for romance yet isn't the best at caring for pets? Can you imagine how it will go over when you tell your husband, "You know I love you, honey, but I wouldn't let you near my cat for all the money in the world." I'm guessing that wouldn't play well at all, especially if Dr. Hubby believes himself to be a modern Dr. James Herriot.

Believe me, you're not the first single animal lover to think that marrying a veterinarian is a perfect solution to two problems. Go to any animal-related event, and you'll immediately bump into unattached people who would love to find another person who doesn't flinch at the idea of stray pet hair on the butter from time to time. Not to mention: a veterinarian would never be squeamish over a hairball!

You could (as a friend of mine once joked she'd try) start hanging out at veterinary conferences in a vampy red dress. But honestly, you'd be much better off marrying another animal lover -- or even becoming content sharing your bed with your cats alone. At least then you'd know you were choosing veterinary services based on what's best for your pet.

A final bit of advice (very tongue-in-cheek): Get into veterinary school yourself. If nothing else, you'd seemingly have a wide selection of datable pet lovers to choose from when you graduate. You could go into large-animal medicine: There's a shortage of large-animal veterinarians (according to the American Veterinary Medical Association) and a lot of lonely cowboys (according to any number of country songs or cowboy poets).

Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com.

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