Mother works to rebuild life with daughter

After years of putting drug addiction and prostitution ahead of her loved ones, Sandy Foster said she finally has broken free of her troubled past.

Now Foster is focused on another difficult task – repairing the bonds between her and her daughter.

Jazmine Priest, 15, was one of those pieces missing in the 46-year-old Foster’s life. As both mother and daughter came through the double doors of the Bassett Center entrance, Foster took a few seconds to smile and firmly embrace Jazmine.

At that moment, Foster remembered her uphill climb to regain custody of her daughter. Despite her pain and disappointment, she said it was worth it.

“It wasn’t a difficulty for me because I already had my mind made up,” Foster said. “I wanted my daughter back. I was willing to go through hell to reach my destination.”

Jazmine said it becomes hard at times to reconnect with her mother because of the long absence. She said the memories of her mother missing countless birthdays, holidays and other coming-of-age moments are strong reasons to keep distant from her.

“When she said it was blue, I said it was green,” Foster said. “Now her being older, she’s harbored some personal issues that had to do with me. I felt she was holding my past and me being on drugs against me.”

Foster moved into The Bassett Center, a residential transitional center for homeless families, with her daughter in April and gained full custody of Jazmine in July. Since then, Foster has worked more than three jobs in the past year to support them both.

The months provided chances for close interaction, but haven’t healed all wounds.

“Sometimes I won’t let her get too close because I feel she may hurt me again,” Jazmine said. “She did cheat a few years away from me. If she goes back to the same habits, then what?”

Jazmine said the broken relationship with her mother has made it difficult to get close to others. Jazmine was born in Norwalk, Conn., but Foster stayed there for only three weeks because she was having problems with Jazmine’s father.

At 13 months, Jazmine moved to South Carolina with her mother. Foster became tangled with drug users and reckless behavior.

“I know I can’t make up for the past,” Foster said. “I can never get that time back that I lost with her. She holds it against me, but this is something we’re working on.”

Foster said her own shortfalls have compelled her to be strict with Jazmine.

“It’s only a mother’s love, and I’m doing more of protecting her than letting her go out there and deal with the pressures on her own,” Foster said. “There are lessons in life we all have to learn. I’ve learned mine. Now, it’s my chance to be the teacher.”

One of those lessons, Foster said, is the value of hard work.

From school and hotel housekeeping to cashier work, Foster said moving into the Bassett Center has taught her the real meaning of financial responsibility. Learning from her broken past, she said, she never again

wants to lean on someone for handouts before trying herself.

But her demanding work schedule often conflicts with spending quality time with her daughter.

By 3 p.m., Foster is off to work, returning around 7 p.m. When Jazmine gets home from SouthWest Edgecombe High School, she walks inside the Bassett Center knowing her mom is not there to greet her.

Both agree this arrangement does not leave them much time to bond.

“It’s hard to get time with each other,” Jazmine said. “Sometimes I feel like we miss out. But I know she’s just doing what she has to do.”

One of the requirements for Bassett Center residents is to maintain a job or volunteer service throughout the duration of their stay.

Foster said she didn’t know how things would work with the living arrangements when she and Jazmine moved in. Because her daughter is a teenager, certain amenities such as personal space are important.

But Jazmine said she was familiar with this scenario, first residing in foster care at the age 11.