Accept Yourself

Simple rules to overcome insecurity

Everyone in the world, big or small, size 0 or 22, Spanish, black, or white, can feel somewhat inferior to others.

These things we tell ourselves, that we aren’t good or pretty enough, are in no way based on facts.

The following are simple steps people can use to overcome feelings of inferiority that they may face.

1. It’s important to bear in mind that every human being in this world is different, and no two faces or bodies are the same. Your 'inferiority’ as you may refer to it, can also be seen as a unique or individual quality.

What makes you feel these things are inferior to everyone else? If there is no norm amongst human beings, how can there possibly be any form of inferiority?

2. Understand that most people aren’t out there to judge you.

Out of everyone you see, most don’t care or know about how poorly you did on your last math test, or how you’ve gained a little weight since last summer.

3. Seriously consider just what is so inferior. If you have a complex about a specific body part, such as your arms, legs, feet, or hands, think hard about what exactly makes them inferior to everyone else, and write this on paper if it helps.

Seriously think about the logic of these things. You’re not going to get stopped in the street for having what you think of as inferior hands or feet.

4. Think about what it is you are really afraid of. What is it you fear will happen, upon the revealing of your inferiority to everyone else? Do you fear people looking, or making comments?

These are all valid worries, but bear in mind – everyone is different. Any comments you receive are invalid and must be ignored. It’s absolutely certain there is something they think is wrong with them too.

5. If you find your inferiority difficult to deal with, enlist the help of a friend. Good friends will help you achieve your goals and tell you the truth. If you find it difficult to talk with friends, ask them if they ever feel inferior, and you may be surprised how worried people get.

6. Remember, you are NOT alone!

7. See a counselor.

Counseling provides a safe, confidential environment in which you can share your thoughts, feelings and concerns. A counselor will help you set goals and work toward achieving them.

8. If it helps, examine and observe other people.

How do they react? How do they conduct themselves?

9. Respect yourself. Look in the mirror and give yourself compliments. If you don’t respect yourself, who will?

10. To be really happy all the time is not only impossible but unrealistic, but you can make a conscious effort to be happy all the time.

However, to be really happy you need to accept yourself for who you are.

Listen, nobody is perfect.

Check this out – any time you enter a room full of people, I bet you get easily attracted to and (I am sure) a bit jealous of those you see laughing or smiling and making the rounds...don’t you?

Truth be told, there is nothing special about them. They just forgot all about themselves and what people think about them. Be one of those people!

11. Spend time thinking about your strengths (everyone has them) and you will find yourself more more confident!

12. Don’t concentrate too much on yourself. Get interested in others and you will see all your fears and worries melt away.

13. Happiness is beautiful. A smile is much more beautiful than a frown.

Deborah B. Burnette MA. Ed. is a licensed professional counselor at Centerpoint Counseling in Rocky Mount.