Moms are pushovers.
Face it, who else would see a handmade Mother's Day card as an even exchange for a year's worth of dirty diapers, runny noses, skinned knees, hugs, kisses, messy kitchens, carpooling and cooking?
Telegram photo / Alan Campbell |
Joy Vincent displays a shirt hand-decorated by her children as a Mother's Day gift in 2001.
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But with Mother's Day just a week away, families nationwide are getting ready to acknowledge why a mom's very willingness to gladly accept that uneven trade makes her so special, said Kit Bennett, founder of Amazingmoms.com, an activity planning Web site.
"She makes every day special for you all year long, so I think it is an important day to make your mom feel loved and just acknowledge all the effort and time and love that she has during the year. But I think it also is important to acknowledge the joy that she has in being a mom," Bennett said.
With that acknowledgement, though, comes deciding what to do to make it special, Bennett said. It's fun for children to help with planning, but it will usually be up to dad or another adult to make sure the child stays on track.
"The biggest part of the father's responsibility is that he gives the impression that this is not something that is obligatory. 'This is not something we have to do. We are doing it because we love your mom,'" Bennett said.
All moms are different, so there is no set formula for figuring out how to make Mother's Day truly memorable. But for those still struggling with what to do, some local mothers have advice on what has worked for them.
When it comes to giving mom something she will cherish, the biggest question is whether to go store-bought or homemade. Several of the moms were quick to point out the homemade gifts their children have made in years past that they still possess.
Having her two children give her homemade gifts when they were little was always more special to Ursula Jacob because of the time and effort that went into them.
One of Jacob's favorites was a hand-decorated flower pot. With a little supervision, even younger child can decorate with paint, markers, glitter or other colorful add-ons, Jacob said. Use a special glaze or glue mixed with water and have the children decoupage a picture of themselves or one with mom and the children. To make it even more special, help the child plant a flower in it.
Another item that can be adapted to any age group is a coupon book for moms, Jacob said. Hand decorated IOUs can be redeemed for anything from an extra hug to having the child take out the garbage or help do the dishes.
"Those are the things that you keep in your memory, because you say, 'Oh, I remember when they made this. I remember when they brought this home,' as opposed to, 'I remember last year they bought me something, but I don't remember what it is,'" said Jacob of Rocky Mount.
Timothy DeLoach is only 5 years old, but for the last few years, he has made a special Mother's Day card for his mom, Cindy. She cherishes them all.
"I can look back on it as time goes by and he gets older and just kind of have memories from them. You can't buy those in a store," said DeLoach of Rocky Mount.
Try to match a gift to the mom's interests. If she likes coffee, give her an insulated cup that has a space to insert a hand-drawn picture or a photograph, said Amanda Moss, a mother of two. That way, every time she is getting her morning pick-me-up, she is reminded of how much her children love her.
Many moms prefer homemade gifts, but that does not mean store-bought ones cannot be just as appreciated. As a mother of eight, Joy Vincent has had experience with both. She has been given homemade flowers and T-shirts with all her children's handprints and names on them.
"It is something that I will always keep, because it will remind me of how big they were 10 years ago. They grow so quickly, and you just don't realize how fast they grow up," said Vincent of Rocky Mount.
But last year, when Vincent was carrying No. 8, she was happy when the children gave her gift cards, because they allowed her to buy maternity clothes to finish out her pregnancy.
Children short on money and artistic talent should focus on preparing a gift for mom that utilizes their talents, Bennett said. If they love books, they can pick a favorite passage to read. Ones who sing well can dedicate a special song to mom at church or at a family gathering. Writers can compose a poem that describes why she is special.
Even making special gestures such as doing the cleaning that day, making breakfast in bed or helping cook lunch or dinner can make all the difference, said Lashawnda Silver, a mother of three.
"You don't get it on a regular basis. You hardly ever get it. Moms hardly ever get a chance to just sleep in and relax and somebody give them breakfast in bed," said Silver of Rocky Mount.
But utmost in daddy and the children's minds when they finish making that special breakfast should be to clean up after themselves, Silver said.
"It is always nice to clean up after yourself so we don't have to go into a kitchen full of dishes that we have to clean up from them making us breakfast," Silver said.
The gamut of things a family can do for mom is endless, but it should revolve around meeting her needs, Bennett said. This could mean taking the children out so mom can have a nice relaxing bath or nap or planning a family fun day.
Whatever family members choose to do, and no matter how much or how little money they spend, the day just needs to be about honoring mom, Vincent said.
"I think it is a day to honor their mom and say, 'Hey, you have done so many special things for us. Let's do something special for you.' That makes me feel good, because they are willing to stop and think about me instead of just thinking about themselves all the time," Vincent said.
