Frogs, Jell-O and building character

LIFE WITH LAURA

There are many times I’ve considered homeschooling my kids.

The public school systems are such a mess right now and are run counter-intuitively. They spend less money and time on those children who really want to learn and more on those who couldn’t care less.

Many times, instead of rewarding the kids who perform well, they reward everybody because they don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.

My kids do well in school because I told them early on that they have to be a garbage man if they don’t do well. It’s called motivation.

Although homeschooling is an option I might choose one day, I’ve found that the public school system can provide certain benefits that homeschooling could not.

These are not necessarily academic benefits, but they are things that all children should know.

For example, my seventh-grader dissected a frog in school recently. This is something that I couldn’t do at home. Maybe some parents could, but my stomach is not equipped for gore.

My son, however, had no problem describing it in detail at the dinner table. He even told me that one child was sent to the principal’s office because he was playing with his frog and making it dance.

A disemboweled dancing frog was apparently too much for the teacher.

To cut short my son’s gruesome narrative and because eating my dinner was now out of the question, I asked him what he learned by dissecting frogs.

He stated proudly, “Never make a dead frog dance!”

You see? That’s something he would never have learned by being homeschooled.

My daughter was grossed out because frog guts reminded her of the spaghetti that was served in the cafeteria for lunch that day.

Also, she said, the roll was hard, the lettuce was limp, the tomato was rotten, the chocolate milk was warm and her straw had a hole in it, which is why she had a chocolate stain on her new shirt.

Not eating her lunch was probably the reason she ate all of her dinner before my son got to his frog story.

Another benefit to public school: Nothing builds character like cafeteria food.

I asked my youngest child, who is in second grade, what he did in school today. He was apparently distracted by my daughter’s straw incident. He thought it was hilarious.

After he stopped giggling, he told us that he and his friends had discovered the joys of sucking Jell-o through a straw. When I asked him what he learned, he said, “Sucking Jell-o through a straw is OK, but your teacher gets mad if you blow it out!”

Well, that is something I never knew.

He certainly wouldn’t have learned that while homeschooling, that’s for sure.

I have learned that reading, writing and arithmetic are apparently not the highlights of my children’s days. Go figure.

Even the science experiment that made it to the forefront of my son’s mind was remembered only because one student had the audacity to make his mutilated frog do the Macarena.

Given that these experiences are not likely to be learned at a home school, perhaps there is a subculture of education at public schools that make it worth sending your children there.

Plus, there is that one benefit that trumps all others: Seven hours of blissful, uninterrupted solitude, five days a week … for me.

Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker. You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more information.