Why All This?

By Suzanne Clark

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Sometimes I get discouraged when things don’t go according to my plan or I feel like God is picking on me. 

Some days I feel like life isn't fair. I feel "put upon." I don't like the way things are going. Some days nothing makes sense and I wonder to myself, "God, why are you putting me through all this?"

I often reflect on those times and all that I've experienced in my life. I will share a few of those times with you … 

I've been hurt, really hurt.

I've cried myself to sleep.

I've cried until the tears just wouldn't flow any longer.

I've stayed up all night worrying.

I've watched someone die. 

I've been fired from a job.

I've lost friends.

I've been sick to the point of nearly dying.

I've buried friends. Some who I felt were far too young to die.

I've failed tests that I spent hours preparing for.

I've had heartbreaking disappointments.

I've tried my best and my best wasn't good enough.

I've broken rules and gotten caught.

I've watched God give and take away.

I've known better and did it anyway.

I've begged for something and finally got it … been miserable and wondered why the heck I asked for it to begin with.

I've had times when I wanted to die.

I've been so sad that I didn't think anything was ever going to be right ever again.

I've wrecked a car, got a speeding ticket or two … or three.

I've overslept, been late, never shown up, and totally forgotten things.

I've spoken before I thought.

I've had times when life was going great and in literally a split second EVERYTHING changed.

I've yelled and screamed and complained and didn't feel any better than when I started.

I've been chosen last and sometimes not chosen at all.

I've felt God's overwhelming presence in my life and the same day questioned if He heard my cries for help.

I've come in second, third and often last.

I've stood my ground when my opinion was not the popular one.

I've prayed and prayed and prayed and then had to accept that God's plan was different from mine.

Whew! That's a whole lot of living in a short time …

I bet your list wouldn't look much different than mine. In fact, you might be able to add a few life experiences to the list. There is something about having seen the worst. There is something about having gone through all those miserable things and yet survived to draw breath the next day that changes us. 

I find that when God brings people across my path who are going through some of the same things that I have been through, I am a little more compassionate. I don't tend to judge quite so swiftly. I feel for them … really feel something. During those times, I'm not just sharing words of encouragement, I've been there. It is from the heart! I've walked down the road they are on.

There is a connectedness that is difficult to explain when you know someone truly understands the depth of pain you are experiencing.  When you know that they have actually felt what you are feeling.  That is a comfort like no other. I thank God for the times He brings those people in my life to share my troubles. I thank God when He gives me the opportunity to be there for someone else. It is during those times that I experience a moment of clarity and for a brief moment … often too brief … it makes sense.  

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