I find this time of year to be a little bitter-sweet. As a photographer, it is an especially wonderful time of year. I love the leaves changing and the beautiful fall colors. There is a crispness in the air that I welcome after a long, hot, humid summer. That is the “sweet” part!  

While I enjoy fall, it is also the time of year when our first son was born and died. The time between September 27 and October 28 is difficult. There is a sadness in my spirit that is nearly impossible to articulate. Unless you have experienced this feeling, you probably cannot begin to understand. Even though it has been nearly 14 years, my mind is still flooded with memories of that time, that loss, that pain. Instead of allowing myself to get too far down in the depths of depression, I try to find something positive to focus on. One of the favorite truths that God revealed to me through this tragedy was that He is a Restorer. My God is a God of making things whole. And more importantly, not just “things,” but people. 

I guess if I had to choose a favorite chapter in my book it would probably be “Tuesday Morning.” In this chapter, I share how God showed us firsthand that He is our Restorer. He showed us how He (as Joel says) “can restore what the swarming locusts have eaten.” As I was writing this chapter, God gave me this sweet reminder:

“Zachary died early on a Tuesday morning. Two years and one month later, God brought us joy in the morning. On November 23, 1999, at 6:32 a.m., another son came into our lives early on a Tuesday morning. Coincidence?  I don’t think so. I believe it was God’s affirmation that he has brought us full circle.”  (excerpt from “Cry out to Jesus”)

I believe that was God’s perfect timing. Certainly God of the universe could have chosen from any of seven days in a week to have our Nicholas enter our lives. I believe our God, who knows every hair on our head, divinely and purposefully chose Tuesday morning. I believe it was His reminder to us that we would be whole once again. I believe it was His way to show us that He was intimately aware of the details of our loss. Oh how I love Him for that!