Home > A Community of Faith > Archives > 2009 > October > 22 > Entry
No Bite
Heb 11:25 “He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time.”
I’ve been a life long nail biter. Unfortunately, I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Oh my goodness, I’ve tried! Nothing ever works…Sure it will work for a day or two and sometimes I’ll even have the willpower to stretch it to a couple of weeks if the stars are aligned just perfectly. But I’ve decided there just isn’t any long term solution to my problem. There is no magical ointment or glaze or squirt bottle that can keep me from feasting on them on a right regular basis.
There was one time in my life when I felt desperate to grow nails. I made my mind up I was really going to try! You know how it is when you are newly engaged and everyone is looking at your diamond? I could just envision folks looking at my engagement ring all shiny and beautiful, ooohing and ahhhhing and then shifting their line of sight everso slightly a few inches down to the tip of my finger to catch a glimpse of the knawed-off nail stub dangling from the finger that housed the beautiful diamond. Disgusting! The nail stub was going to ruin the whole engagement experience. I needed really long, beautiful fingernails.
So, in an effort to have nails for at least this one time in my life I tried “No-Bite”. Oh my goodness that stuff tastes horrible—as you might expect something like this might taste that is trying keep your fingers out of your mouth. It was so bitter. Even the slightest touch of my finger nail anywhere near my lips and the bitter taste would overwhelm me. The bitterness would linger. It would take hours for it to go away. I would try brushing my teeth, chewing gum, anything to get that nasty taste out of my mouth. I couldn’t even eat KFC finger lickin’ fried chicken…it was too risky. I didn’t want those fingernails with that toxic glaze anywhere near my lips.
The war of wills between me and “No Bite” went on for a few days. I finally reached my breaking point and decided that it was worth biting my nails with that disgusting spread, just to be able to bite my nails!
Then something happened….it wasn’t so bad anymore. “Bitter” wasn’t so bitter any longer. Over time, a taste here, a taste there…and now it was becoming almost tolerable. In fact, it was not only becoming tolerable, it was starting to taste pretty good. I considered using it as a dry-rub on my food. (:
Wow! Isn’t that scary? It should be. Don’t you think sin is exactly like that? A little here, a little there…then we start justifying. We rationalize. We weigh the options. We determine in our own minds that you know what, it’s worth feeling miserable for that momentary pleasure we experience afterwards.
I wonder if sometimes we are ever in a situation and initially we know it is wrong. It feels wrong. We may even be convicted about it. We feel uneasy about it way down in our spirit…But we dismiss all the signals and continue down our own path of self-destruction. After a while, what once tasted bitter and seemed horrible just doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Perhaps after even more time, we develop a taste for it. Not only does it not taste bitter anymore, it actually starts to taste good! That’s when you know you’re in trouble. We should never be more terrified than when we are no longer under conviction for doing something that we are 100% positive is wrong. Because at that point, we’re in so deep we can’t even see what a mess we’re in. Often times, we’ll drop anchor because at that moment it feels good and that’s all we’re interested in— that temporal feeling of being happy. We’re not interested in joy today…happiness will do just fine. So, we mar up, neck deep in something that we know we have no business being involved in, but our flesh is weak and we give in and go in the complete opposite direction from the one God has so carefully charted out for us. Satan has us just where he wants us… Sin is enjoyable. Then one day we come to ourselves…as so many of us have done before. We look around and realize what a mess we’ve made. Bitter may not be tasting bitter yet, but we know that bitter IS bitter. That’s the first step. We stop. We spinaround. We ask for forgiveness. We turn from what we’re doing and slowly begin to make our way back to God. He stands…never having moved away from us. He’s right there where we left Him. Waiting. He forgives. He forgets. Grace! Joy makes a home where mere happiness once was.
P.S. Someone, who farmed all their life, suggested I spread “something else” on my fingers to help me stop biting them….hmmm…I’m guessing “that” would never start tasting good. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s all that sanitary and I have to think that over time it would discolor my nails, ya know? I ain’t that desperate yet…Me and my stubs are fine.
Comments
By Cheryl Barnhill
October 22, 2009 6:41 PM | Link to this
I loveed this story. You are so real. I look forward to next week’s story. You are awesome and I am glad you are my friend, stubs and all. Love ya, Cheryl
By Celia
October 23, 2009 8:51 AM | Link to this
I look so forward to your “reads”. Please don’t ever stop doing what God had gifted you to do. You are a super writer and an awesome friend!!!!!!!
By Keith
October 23, 2009 3:53 PM | Link to this
you are so real and so funny and just really have a unique way of viewing life and “things”..I wish you wrote one of these every day. thanks again ! peace. -keith
By Jennifer
October 23, 2009 8:35 PM | Link to this
Suzanne- This blog was great! You have such a way with words. Just another one of your many gifts.